I've got this thing.  I'm not proud of it, but I can't really get rid of it.  Some might call it an abnormality.  Some might call it idiotic.  Personally, I call it caring too much. 

You see, I can't watch the World Series.

I watch when the Yankees are batting, but I can't watch when the opposing team is batting.  I just can't force myself to watch them take their raps.  Why?  I get too nervous.  I want the Pinstripes to win so badly that I get too nervous to watch.

I figure that the Yankees can score runs while they're batting.  The only good things that can happen while the other team is batting strikeouts, good defensive plays or something of that nature.  The bad thing is that the other team can score runs, and that's what I don't want to see. 

I mean, seriously, how many strikeouts are there in a game?  Ten?  Seven?  Five?  Depends on who's pitching, right? Howmany great defensive plays are there?  Two?  Three?  Four?  So, if you take the largest numbers and add them together, you get about 14.  So, I would want to be watching 14 times during the Yankees defensive times on the field.  Sorry, but that's not enough.

When the Yanks won the Series in 1996, I turned it off in Game 6.  When they won in 1998, I watched because I knew they'd win.  1999, too.  In 2000, I turned the channel when they were in the field.  Same for 2001 and 2003.

Now, I watch the other channels and my hands shake.  My son keeps asking me to change the channel back, but I just can't do it. 

"Who's ahead?" my wife asks.

"I don't know because I'm not watching it right now."

She just rolls here eyes and walks off in disgust.  "You're very odd," she mumbles.

Yea, I know.

My wife called me this morning on her way to work to tell me I was a jerk.  Turns out I was pretty grouchy last night.  And with good reason.  I hate Cliff Lee.

If you will remember, I picked him up last year from the waiver wire and straightway put him into the lineup of my fantasy team.  He won and won and won in the summer of 2008 and I looked like a fantasy baseball genius.  Not only did he get me into the playoffs, but he won the Cy Young award.  All from a guy who was foundering on the waiver wire.

Then came September 23rd, 2008.  The Yankees had one chance in a million to get into the playoffs and if Cliff Lee could beat Boston we still had a chance.  But could he do it?  No, he lost, and with that loss the Yankees were sent home for the winter for the first time in DJ's career. 

I hated Cliff Lee all winter long last year.  I threw darts at a picture of him.  I made a Cliff Lee doll and pulled its head off.  It was a very long and healthy hate.

Now this.

You think I hated Cliff Lee last year?  Just wait.  Not only did he shut down my beloved Yankees on only 6 stinking hits, but he made Johnny D's popup in the ninth look like he was having a day at the beach.  He struck out Tex, A-Rod and Jorgie 7 times combined!  Seriously?  Seriously?

Don't get me wrong.  The Yanks didn't play badly.  CC only gave up four hits in 7 innings.  Too bad two of them had to be Utley dingers. 

But when CC was done, Joe brought in the parade of clowns.  Unbelievably, Marte wasn't half bad.  But the rest of those jokers?  Hughes?  Stinko!  Robertson?  Horrible.  Coke?  Terrible.  Bruney?  A joke.  Joe Buck got it right.  Girardi had to worry about those four runs his pen gave up.  If not for those, the score could have only been 2-0 in the bottom of the ninth.  CC kept us close.  The pen let the horse out of the barn.

So, tonight we go again.  Invariably, Fox will show Cliff Lee sitting in the dugout.  I'll grind my teeth every time I see him because now I hate him even more. 

Cliff Lee, you stink.

I honestly don't know what to write today.  The World Series starts tonight and I'm feeling a little cautious about it. 

When the Yankees were in the World Series back in 2001 I told my wife that they'd beat the Diamondbacks without much problem.  Yea, so much for my prognosicating skills.

Then in 2003 I was intrepid enough to say that they'd beat the Marlins, but it would be a real battle since the 'Lins had Beckett and all that firepower.  Ok.  They didn't hire me in Vegas.

Now it's 2009 and I don't know what to say.  I feel good about the Bombers' chances, but I am more guarded now.  The success of the late 90's made me a little overconfident.  Padres?  Yankees in four.  Mets?  Yankees in four (ok, I missed that one by one game).  Braves?  No problem.  Six games.

Now?  I don't know.  The Daily News says Yankees in five.  I think it will be Yankees in seven, but I just never know anymore.  The Phillies are a very good team, much better than those Padres, Mets or Braves.  But the Yankees are a better team now, too.  There are at least four or five legitimate first round Hall of Famers on this team (Jetes, A-Rod, Pettitte, Jorgie and Mo), and five more who are at least candidates (Robbie, Tex, CC, AJ, Johnny D).  That's a lot of talent on one team.

The thing I worry about now is 2001 and 2003.  I thought they had it then, too.

But this is a different team.  This is a different year.  So let's all join in the familiar chorus of "Let's Go Yankees!" and hope it goes less than five.

I thought that since tonight is World Series Eve I'd compare the two teams to see what we can expect in Game 1.  So, here you go.  My feeble attempt to see who's going to win.

- Yankees - Tex
  Phillies - Ryan Howard
  Advantage - Phillies

Though Tex is one of my favorite players, he hasn't been having the greatest postseason ever.  He hit his share of dingers this year, but not like Howard.  He is a man among men.  I think he's only second in the NL to Pujols, who is a giant man among boys.

- Yankees - Robbie
  Phillies - Chase Utley
  Advantage - Even

Utley is a great second baseman, and he has a powerful stick.  But Robbie gets it done, too.  I think this one comes in neck and neck.

- Yankees - Jetes
  Phillies - Jimmy Rollins
  Advantage - Yankees

Don't get me wrong.  I actually like Jimmy Rollins.  But Derek Jeter is my pick for the AL MVP this year and he may be the World Series MVP if the Yankees can take it.  He is the best clutch hitter in the history of the game.  I think the nod goes to Jeter, in a big way.

- Yankees - A-Rod
  Phillies - Pedro Feliz
  Advantage - Yankees

This one isn't even close.  Compare A-Rod to Howard, if you want, and I think he still comes out ahead just because of the monster postseason he's having.  Yankees big here.

- Yankees - Johnny D, Melk Man, Swish
  Phillies - Ibanez, Flying Hawaiian, Wertz
  Advantage - Even

The Phils actually may come out a little ahead on this one.  Ibanez is having a great postseason and so is Victorino.  But Johnny D came through the other night and so did Melky.  I only worry about Swish in the outfield.  His arm is great, though, wouldn't you say Vlad?

- Yankees - Jorgie
  Phillies - Bako
  Advantage - Yankees

Not only do the Yankees have Jorge, but they have Molina who can come in at a moment's notice without too much degradation.  Slight advantage Yankees.

- Yankees - CC
  Phillies - Cliff Lee
  Advantage - Yankees

MVP of the ALCS.  Need I do more than to point you in that direction?  He was the man in the ALCS.  And don't worry about game 7.  If they have to play it, CC will be ready on three day's notice again.  Oh, just give me a reason.

- Yankees - Home
  Phillies - Away
  Advantage - Yankees


Quick.  How many games have the Yankees lost in the postseason in the new Yankee Stadium?  Yea, you got that right.  ZERO.  And that trend will continue on Wednesday night as CC shuts down the high-powered offense of the Phils. 

So, the total advantage comes to five categories Yankees, one category Phillies and two even.  I think there will be a lot of runs scored in this series, maybe none more than in the first and second games because of the wind and short porches.  But I'm thinking they'll all be scored by the home team. 

Let's go Yankees!

"Hey, congratulations on your Yankees," he said as I sat down in his office.

"Thanks," I replied stiffly, not really knowing what to say.

"I guess that makes you pretty happy, huh?"

Yes, it does, but how do I say that to an Angels fan, who also just happens to be my boss?

"It sure was an exciting series," I replied, trying to avoid the obvious response.

"Yea, I 'spose," he said.  "We just threw it away."

I know, and almost literally.

"Your guys will be back next year," I said, hoping to avoid picking the scab that had just barely started to heal.

"Maybe," he said, "but they were made for this year.  What with the Adenhart thing and all, I think it was this year or nothing.  Won't mean as much now."

I looked at the floor and shuffled some dirt off the bottom of my shoe that stuck there while I was walking into the building.  "Aw, I doubt it.  All those guys will be back, plus, now they'll have Kazmir for an entire season."

I cringed the second the words came out of my mouth, for it had been Kazmir who'd allowed the Yankees to score their two insurance runs in the bottom of the 8th.
 
He looked at me in that head-tilted way he always did.  Then he blinked and said, almost grievingly, "Well, good luck in the Series."

I thanked him, stood and turned to leave.  I looked over my shoulder and thought I caught the tail end of a tear wipe, but I couldn't be sure.  He might have just been scratching his cheek.  "Your team played better than mine," he whispered as I shut the door behind me.

"Let's go Yankees," I said quietly as I walked back to my desk.  "Let's go!"

I guess it's that time of year again.  Time to pick my favorites for the postseason awards.  I went 6 for 8 last year, missing both of the MVP awards.  Not bad, I guess.  This year should be different.  I'm going to nail them all.

AL MVP: Derek Jeter - There are a lot of people who could potentially win this award this year, and if there's one I may miss, it may be this one.  But DJ has had such a great year.  He hit .334, had 66 ribbies, 18 dingers, 212 hits, and scored 107 runs.  He also had 30 stolen bases. But the most telling, I think, are his.406 on base percentage, his .465 slugging percentage and his .871 OPS.  This was a monster year for The Captain, who overtook Lou Gehrig as the Yankee's all-time hits leader.  If he doesn't win it this year, I will consider it a robbery.

NL MVP: Albert Pujols - I gotta go with last year's winner on this one.  Granted, my reason for going with Ryan Howard last year was that he had his team in the playoffs.  He took them all the way to the Series and won it last year.  Who knows?  He might be able to duplicate that this year.  I hope not, but he could.  Albert, though, was super human.  .327 batting average, 47 taters, 135 RBIs, and a staggering 1.011 OPS.  Amazing.  No doubt about this one.

AL Cy Young: Zack Greinke - A member of the Royals winning it?  You bet.  The man was unbelievable.  Playing with a team that finished 32 games under .500 and 21 games behind the Tigers, he won 16 games with a 2.06 ERA.  He also threw three shutouts and finished second in K's in the American League.  I don't think this one is close, either.

NL Cy Young: Chris Carpenter - I could give this to either Carpenter or Adam Wainwright because they both deserve it.  But I chose Carpenter because of the comeback aspect of it all.  Making just four starts the last two years, he came back and laid waste to the NL by winning 16 games, posting a 2.30 ERA and throwing three complete games, two for 1-hitters.  Don't get me wrong.  Wainwright will probably win.  But my sentimental vote goes to Carpenter.

AL Rookie of the Year:  Rick Porcello - I could give this one to Brett Gardner or to a handful of other guys, but I think Porcello handled himself admirably down the stretch.  He went 5-2 with an ERA of just north of 3.00 in his last 13 starts.  In the 31 starts he had over the full season, he went 14-9 with 89 K's, pitching 170 innings and an ERA just under 4.  I think his WHIP is impressive, too, at only 1.34.  Not bad for a 20-year old just up from the minors.  Not only that, but did you see who the Tigers pitched in that classic tiebreaker, game 163?  Yea, Porcello.  And he struck out 8 Twinkies.

NL Rookie of the Year:  Andrew McCutchen - If Chris Coghlan had kept up his torrid April pace, this would be a no-brainer.  Unfortunately for him, he cooled with rise in mercury.  McCutchen just kept getting hotter and hotter.  He hit .286 with 12 dingers, 54 RBIs and 74 runs.  He also logged 22 steals in 27 attempts.  He was on base 37 percent of the time, had a slugging average of .471 and an OPS of .836.  He also had 9 triples.  Can't argue with speed.

AL Manager of the Year:  Mike Scioscia - I'd love to give this award to Joe Girardi, but he just has too much talent.  His team was supposed to win.  I'm sure he will get some consideration for molding the egos on this club into a true team, but Scioscia, as much as I hate to admit it, did a great job this year.  His club won the AL West going away (10 games).  They finished second to the Yankees in the American League, going 97-65.  That's saying a lot, especially when you consider the death of Nick Adenhart, just after the start of the regular season.  Scioscia kept the team together and honored the fallen pitcher throughout the season.

NL Manager of the Year: Jim Tracy - I like Joe Torre.  I think he's the best manager in the game today.  But Joe has talent on his team.  Lots of it.  Tracy, however, did more this year with less talent than any other manager in baseball.  Sure, he's got Barmes, Giambi, Helton, Tulo and Hawpe.  But they will never be mistaken for the Dodgers.  All Tracy did this year was take an 18-28 team and have them go 74-42 the rest of the way, winning the NL Wild Card.  Anyone who can make a team like the Rockies go 74-42 deserves this award.

Comeback Player of the Year: Chris Carpenter - Ok. I should have given the Cy Young award to Adam Wainwright since Carpenter gets my nod here, but doggone it, Carpenter deserves them both.  He went 17-4 in 28 starts.  He gave up only 7 home runs all year.  Walked only 38 and struck out 144 batters.  Opposing hitters hit a measly .226 off him.  If anyone deserves this award, it's Carpenter.

As is my custom, I rise, shower and dress before the sun comes over the now hue-dappled hills.  My wife is barely breathing when I kiss her on the cheek to tell her I love her and to wish her a good day. 

Then, quietly, I make my way into my daughter's room and kiss her, too.  "I love you, daddy," she infrequently says.  Most days she just rolls over and falls back into dreamland.  "I love you, too, peanut."

Last, but not least, I tiptoe into my son's room to complete this daily routine.  He's a heavy sleeper, so I seldom get much of a response from him.  This morning it was different.

It was nearly 9:30pm last night, the game was only in the bottom of the fourth inning, and my kids were ready for bed. 

"But dad, can't I watch just a little more?" my son protested.

I sighed heavily.  "No son.  I'm sorry.  You know how hard it is to get up in the mornings when you go to bed too late.  And you've got a test tomorrow.  Besides, you know how your mom is.  She wants you in bed an hour ago."

He looked at my sadly with those big hazel eyes.  "Well, then you have to promise you'll write me a note in the morning to let me know how the game ends."  I've written my share of game summaries in his 10-year old life, but this one was different.  This is the first time in his life, that he can remember, that the Yankees were this close to the World Series.

"I promise," I said, and we walked up the stairs together.

Ten minutes later I found myself racing back up the stairs, albeit quietly this time, with big news.  "Tex hits a screaming single to center, A-Rod comes up and hits a two-run dinger to left.  Yankees 5, Angels nothing."

He sat bolt up in the bed.  "Really?" he exclaimed.

"Really, really," I replied.  "I love you.  Go to sleep."

"I love you, too, dad" he said as he nestled back down beneath the gray and blue Yankee comforter in his Yankee-decorated room.  He quickly fell fast asleep, no doubt with visions of DJ, A-Rod and Jorgie dancing in his head.

As I leaned over him this morning to kiss him goodbye for the day, he sat up and looked me square in the face.  "What was the final score, dad?" he asked with just a trace of sleep in his bleary eyes.

I smiled as I gave him a hug.  "10-1 Yankees," I replied.

"Wow," he said as he smiled and fell back asleep.

Yea, wow.

Why does Joe Girardi hate me?  I never did anything to him.  I mean, I've never even met the man.  Yet, there he was last night, on the mound in Anaheim, taking out the one reliever (who's not a closer) in whom I have confidence...David Robertson.  Stop me if you think I'm wrong, but I think it was the worst move he's made all year.

Lupica says it was overmanaging, and he may be right.  But even my son, who's only 10, knew it was the wrong thing to do before he did it.  When we saw Joe call the bullpen, as soon as he took his first step up those dugout stairs, he (my son) looked at me and said, "What's he doing?"

"I don't know," I said.  "He's been out there once already, though, so Robertson's done."

"Bad move," he said.  "Really bad move.  But as long as he doesn't bring in Aceves, we'll  be all right." 

Little did we know that the real Clueless Joe would do exactly that.

I put my head in my hands and said, "Might as well go to bed now, son.  That's the ballgame."

And it was.  Two out, no one on.  No one really dangerous coming up for three or four slots.  Yet, Joe Girardi decided it was time the Angels won a game.  Aceves?  Really?  Seriously?

Wasted - an exceptional 1st and 3rd, nobody out performance by the Sandman.
Wasted - a fine 6.1 innings from Andy Pettitte.
Wasted - a game-tying Jorgie tater in the top of the 8th.
And wasted - another quality relief stint by David Robertson.

You know how bad that move was?  Even the Angels asked, "Why'd they change pitchers there?"

You got me.

All I know is that Joe Girardi doesn't want me to get a good night's sleep.  He hates me.  He just hates me.  And I don't even know why.